Friday, August 7, 2009

The Purpose of Fingernails

I think I know why we were given fingernails, but it wasn't: > to pick one's nose ['tho I can't think of anything else that would work as well] > intended as a surface on which to paint colorful designs or to which to paste gems > to loosen screws > to spoon cocaine [I always eye-ball people who keep their pinky nails longer than the rest] > to see how long one can grow them [it grosses me out to see people with nails so long they start to corkscrew -- eeuuw!] No, I do believe fingernails were intended to save klutzes like me from chopping off the tips of our fingers, or in my case, a thumb. Blithely chopping celery last evening for my world-renowned apple, celery and dried cranberry salad I went beyond the end of a celery stalk and inadvertently tried to add some meat to this fruit salad. As blood trickled onto the cutting board, my first thought was "well, I'm glad I already cut up the apples and chopped enough celery." As I was washing and bandaging my wound, it occured to me that if I'd not had a thumbnail, I might have lost part of that digit. Of course the injury also means that, until it heals, I will continue to jam that thumb as a reminder of my stupidity. P.S. After I cleaned up the disaster area, I added the cranberries and Miracle Whip to complete the salad. Despite it's gruesome history, it was delicious!
Happy Weekend Y'All!!